How do you express the deepest grief
you've ever felt?
I want to scream at the sky
and curse this bitter agony until
it dissolves into the ether like
ashes from an extraordinary rebirth.  
I must contain myself within this scolding hot ache,
sitting within the relentless lava like a buddhist
set aflame by her own defiant sorrow,
as an effigy to the life you gave me,
and the life you're taking away.
I just wish I knew for certain that
there is more after this -
that I will see you again,
sometime, somewhere
outside of our human forms,
our intellectual cloaks,
our closets full of ego
and fear.
There are so many things I wish I could change,
hurtful words painted across a temporary landscape
for tiny moments of rotten victory.  
I wish I knew for certain we'd
get another chance to do this right.
Another chance for me to be
the doting, obedient daughter,
and for you to be the proud and unconditionally loving father.
A chance for us to really know
each other, and truly enjoy
the fact that we
do.
but, something tells me this is it.....