Nowadays, I don't even write nearly as much as I used to. Not for the reason that I don't want to, but I just have so much to say. By the time I get it written down on paper I find myself blank. Grasping for straws with nothing meaningful to say. I've been so caught up with life & all it's let downs that I never sit to actually write them out. Yet, here I am 10 PM at night on my couch, writing.

I am pondering the meaning of my existence. Wondering, does God have a plan for my life, does He even hear my prayers? I'm quite positive I am not the only one who lays up at night thinking these thoughts.

However, I know one thing is for certain. I wasn't put on Earth to get the extravagant house or even the nicest & fastest car. Those are merely toys that break down & have to be fixed every now & again. Kinda like our lives.

We head down a path that seems to be great, then we get there & realize it wasn't at all how we pictured it. See that's what scares me the most. Having got so far into life, but still have yet to get anywhere meaningful.

After all, that's what we're intentionally striving & searching for is meaning. If we weren't, then why try so hard at school or working to get the next BIG promotion. Reminds me of the story in Solomon (which I have yet to fully read.) It explains that he had it ALL yet in the end he says, "it's ALL just meaningless, meaningless."

**Which leads me to ask, where should we go from here?