I want to lay my head on your chest,
I want to count your heartbeats,
I want to be by your side,
From now until forever.

But out of fear,
And learning from past mistakes,
I can't just drop what I have here
(Which is next to nothing)
To run away.

I can't keep running away,
It's not proper,
It's not lady-like.

I hope you understand--
I know running away was my idea.

But without a ring on my finger,
What am I really running to?

I can't make that mistake again.
I can't risk that much of myself again.

Please understand.
Please don't be mad.
I need some kind of back up,
Something to back up the decision,
Some type of proof I'm not going to be
Abandoned again.

I'm scared and I'm sorry.