we all have a reason to hate ourselves and I am my own reason.

I remember being little and crying myself to sleep every night
I remember being little and thinking I was just a waste of space

until there was a day I promised myself to never cry again about  
something that wasn't worth crying about, something like feelings

when I grew older I learned a lot of people hate them selves
it was normal to not define yourself as something beautiful

I remember being little and crying about the blood on my sheets
I remember being little and falling into this hole of never ending darkness

most of the time I would spend wondering why did you hate me?
why didn't you like me and why would you harm me in this way

I remember meeting this old man on the beach, he had this special gift
I remember him telling me all things about myself and about my life

the older man amazed me with the things he told me, a world opened
he told me I was the most beautiful yet saddest girl in my friend group

I remember making a promise to this stranger about not harming myself..
I remember not showing any emotion or tears while making this promise..

the beach was so magical that day, everything was just perfect that day
and I wish that today was like that day, a perfect day... but with you..

because I am crying now because after four months I broke that promise.