I feel sick,
And I'm so sick
Of this.

Of never being
Up to par,
Of always being
The initiating party.

Of working myself
To points of break downs
And insanity,
And being judged
For any and all
Acts of self care.

I'm so sick
Of not being in control
Of my own life.

And I'm so sick,
I'm so sick of this.

I'm sick of waking up every morning,
And feeling like vomiting,
Because I'm filled with anxiety
For the up and coming day.

I'm so sick
Of dreading the start of my day,
And counting down the hours
Until I can come home,
And talk to you.

And I'm so sick
Of not talking to you.

I'm so sick
Of putting in so much effort,
I cannot meet anyone
More than half way.
It is bad
For my progress.

And now I have two minutes
Until I have to go
To that hell hole,
And get judged by people
For things I cannot control.

I am so sick and tired,
Of being sick and tired.

And I am so sick
Of feeling forgotten.
And I am so sick
Of only being valued
For what I'm useful for.

I am not my money,
I am not my chores,
I am not I am not I am not
Always going to be here.
I'm sick of waiting.

I only wait for one person.
And even they
Need to step it up.