I am well acquainted
with 2 am.
this is not because
I am awake and living and loving
but because
I feel the opposite
the world feels too big for me
at least at 2 am
when it is dark
and I am curled into a ball
hidden under quaking covers
the world feels a little smaller.
maybe
if this world were smaller
I would fit better.
there is too much space
in our world.
it needs to be filled
but i do not feel
deserving enough
to fill it.