I can't grow when every outcome is the same

I've been no one's priority
So why should anyone be for me?
Wasting time has wasted mine
How going with the flow has only gone smooth in my mind

Jagged rocks and clustered thoughts
Cold outcomes have always been my fault
Expecting torment is how I get ready for disappointment
My boys are all I need for companionship and enjoyment
Fairy tales are lies and I won't die searching for it