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My Will

by shawn-d-smith

What will happen when my life ends? Is what I take with me, the core of my sins? Happy memories stained with hurt, loss, and regret. What was gained that I felt, what was kept from me for so long. The will of my heart. Am I really the change I seek? how do I stand up? when the ground has been swept from beneath my feet? This gray line now gravitates towards black, and just as I awake for another fight. The world is standing feeding hunger from my fears. So I remain sad, and days has come and years have passed. Yet nothing has changed, tomorrow is still empty. How do you look towards the future when your present is filled with pain and suffering? I can't see the light. The past won't remain a memory. If only things were as easy as snapping my fingers and watching the pain that clings to me disappear. I would have no reason  to shed tears. I feel as if there is a voice that tells me I have no place in the world. This voice is very convincing. That you can not adapt. That no one is listening. I feel as if this life is now thoroughly permeated with the spirits of despair and resistance. I want to feel important. I want the will of my heart rescued from the barbarism that surrounds me, the inescapable horror that has tormented me. Is it my will, that I take with me on my final journey? What others have enjoyed destroying. Give it back! my innocence, my emotions, I want it all returned to me. I no longer want to please you or this world.  I don't want to run anymore, I don't want to hide, or die. I don't want to lose. I wont give up, because Life is what I choose.
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Written by
shawn-d-smith
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Written by
shawn-d-smith
Published
May 15, 2016
Time
2m
Tags
#love#depression#pain#sorrow#longing#determination
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