when i looked at what i had been writing
i came to the realization that
i had been trying, so desperately
to mask my insecurities and trials
with sweet poetry and prose

why do i still try to hide
what i feel, on this anonymous poetry account

this hiding has gone far beyond just the reaches of the internet
it has pervaded into each sector of my life

i. i hide from myself

i fool myself with forced optimism
and the mentality that
my wounds are nothing but shallow scratches
that, if it can't be healed with time, then
it can be healed with adjustment and moving on

ii. i hide from others

i pretend, that they, too are fooled
by my obvious act
as i push everyone away
with lies of
"i'm fine" and "i'm okay"

why can't i come out of hiding