there's a knot in the middle of my spine -
a knot made with flaming fuchsia rope -
that i have never been able to untangle.
my fingers aren't able to reach it quite right;
no matter how much i rub or how far i arch my back against the mattress,
the knot remains as taut as a lifeline.
and i can't cut it loose also,
i don't leave no scars on my back for i have promised myself the blade's lips can kiss my wrist and my wrist only.
there have been people who have encountered me in this life to whom i have mentioned the knot.
a couple of people only nodded and avoided my troubled eyes.
some people have had the pleasure of fastening it even tighter.
experienced sailors with impressive tying skills,
that can secure an entire ship of agony and relentless torture to a worn and raw anchor as heavy as my body,
with the vessel of malicious fingernails and empty words.
most people have only soothed my aching back with gentle fingers;
caressed and patted the knot with a tight lip drawn upon the face
and pitied my sorrow with forbearing eyes.
no one has ever cared to untie the unforgiving knot.
no one has reached out to pull the burning end of the rope and set it loose.
no one has carelessly ripped out of me the sigh i have been guarding in the hollow of my throat for so long.
no one has set me free.