When I was a little girl,
I was told to be seen and not heard.
Invisible to my self and others.
I dared not laugh, I dared not cry.
Alive but no longer living.
I loved you,
But I feared you.
Your bouts of rage and madness.
Love that was conditional and fleeting.
I just wanted to scream and shout,
SEE ME!
LOVE ME!
But I learned to remain out of sight and sound.
I became vacant but yet present.
When I tried to feel,
Tried to be me,
I was told that you were too busy,
To spend time with me.
"Go out and play",
"Find some friends",
"Don't bother me".
So I would sit outside alone and cry.
Still waiting to be loved...
Now that I am grown,
I no longer seek your love.
I no longer stay in the background.
But make my presence known.
Loud and clear,
I will be seen,
I will be heard,
So *******!
Though you made me what I am today,
It will never take the pain away.