it's almost inevitable in the eyes of many you push yourself so far that at some point you're destined to fall you give up to your limit, and then you break, and i don't blame you you forget any idea of optimism or hope nothing else matters except the thought of the pain ending you're told you're being selfish but in your eyes you're doing them a favor the drugs couldn't keep you numb long enough anymore the blade couldn't cut deep enough anymore and the only escape now was a permanent one, am i right? so that's it you made your decision you pull the trigger you take the pills you make the cut you step off of the stool "no one will miss me" "it'll end the pain" "i have no purpose" you remind yourself it was worth it until your mom finds your body or your dad or your little sister or your cousin or your bestfriend they'll never forget how lifeless you looked you're pale, scarred, helpless body will be etched into them forever if they had just gotten there earlier maybe they could've saved you you know that's not true but they don't they feel like it's their fault it's unfair you ended your pain, just to cause more for those who love you it's going to get better it's destined to don't permanently end your life because you're temporarily upset i know it's hard, but hang in there your life matters a lot more than you think it does
if anyone ever needs to talk, direct message me. you're never alone. 1 (800) 273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline