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  Feb 2017 ao
Dead Lock
She used to write poems about slitting her wrists

About monsters that did but did not exist

About band aids and stained paper towels

About grubby toilet seats and empty bowels

And well, now

She regret the scars

Fishing line trails out of them

Transparent until noticed

Then tangled and messy

Catching on hot sweaters in the summer

On the eyes of friends

Of her grandparents

She found them to no longer be the uneven lines of art she loved

She'd stick to colored pens
Don't self harm. It leads to lots of regret.
  Nov 2016 ao
just another shadow
but it doesn't change the fact
that all you can give to the world
is an awkward wave to a girl
who may be dying.
  Nov 2016 ao
Arlina H
I love you, i always will.
I was your happy little pill.
The heartbeats from your ******* heart,
Always synced with mine, it was fine when we were apart.
But baby, i can see you will never love me,
The same way you love your drugs.
Know, that it was always you,
Who chose power over love.

I sit here, looking at the bullets next to your gun.
From your caged demons, you always had to run.
The clock strikes another hour,
Days have passed since i saw you last.
They were right, we're made of glass.

When you find me, well if you do,
i took your gun, and wrote your name on the bullets that you had left on the bed,
so you could know that you were the last thing to go through my head.
And when the drugs finally stop you corrupted heart.
I will be waiting for you,
right here, like i was, since the start.

Goodbye my lover, it was just a matter of time,
you killed the happiness in me, you did this crime.
But i will never hate you, thats the problem with me,
And there one solution, i know that,
i can now see.

           When you decide to love me the way i deserve,
          Come to me, come to paradise,
            *destroy this curse.
I create personas.
  Nov 2016 ao
Randy Lee
What the hell am I supposed to do I feel as if I'm ******* because this addiction thing has proved time and again that it always wins in the end and I can't stop there is no off switch so I will probably die of this which depresses me and I confess that makes me want a drink as the cycle continues until I lose the battle and my loved ones suffer I have considered suicide to get it over with and stifle the wake of misery I've yet to leave behind but cannot seem to find the courage and you may say that rehab is the way to get and stay sober yet I submit it is a bandaid on a severed artery this I know from experience and what is wrong seems to go down deep to the very essence of me where my belief in God lives in my soul but faith has not sustained my sobriety even feeding the fear at moments when the voices are severe in my mind always trying to belittle and break me down until I whittle away into nothingness please
ao Nov 2016
we've lost touch these last few years, and i will never forgive myself
it seems so surreal that you're gone
why were you not wearing your seatbelt?
were you looking at your phone?
did someone run you off of the road?
why did something so bad happen to someone so great?
i have so many questions that will never be answered
one second you were here, and the next you were gone
you will forever be in our hearts
you always were a daddy's girl, now you're singing "Sweet Home Alabama" and having lemonade stands with him again
your preacher continued to repeat, "she's not in pain anymore" and "her darker days are over"
why didn't you tell me you were having a hard time?
you had your whole future planned out, why weren't you wearing your seat belt?
i will think about you every day from now until the day i join you
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