If only that stranger
Turned into the love
I prayed so long for
To some god up above.
If only that person
Found me irresistible
Instead of totally
Unappealing and risible.

If only the shape of face
Of body and my hair
Was something enticing
Instead of meant to scare.
If only I didn’t sound like
A babbling fool when I’d speak
A loser, a wannabe lothario,
A dingbat, a troll, a freak.

If only I could quickly tell
Who found me very hot
And which love object
Most certainly did not.
If only I was the dream
Some gorgeous soul had
Instead of being someone
They found a bit mad.

If only I looked classy,
Upper echelon and clean
Like a Manhattan executive,
A model from a big magazine.
If only I could finally stop
Compulsively asking myself why
I couldn’t just accept that I
Am a regular, normal kind of guy.