I stopped questioning if God was real at 3am one night
in a church parking lot
I was in the front seat, on top of a boy
who would not even drive to my house to see me,
we'd always meet up
and when he told me to take off my clothes I did
and when he told me "I dreamt about this"
it stuck
when I closed my car door, and went on my way home
that is when I stopped believing in God
because I already knew that he wouldn't call tomorrow
and I already knew the familiar bleeding of my wrists would
lull me to sleep
and I already knew he'd be back in a month
speaking of love and forgiveness
I stopped believing in God
when I found it in a person, and I decided
God isn't such a nice guy.