today I felt fine.
I rose from my insufferable tomb,
and painted on a smile
with red lipstick;
effort worn so proudly on
my quivering lips.
today I did not cry,
though I wanted to several times,
only if I had shed a tear,
shown even a small glimpse
of the ocean that resides inside me,
I would have unintentionally released a wave
of despair.
today I did not look at him,
and I'm sorry, but it did not
make me adore him any less.
today I did not eat,
not because I craved something
like collar bones or a prominent
rib cage,
I just did not want to eat.
today I walked two thousand steps:
one thousand spent pacing around my room,
another thousand running from my pain and troubles.
today I did something crazy,
I told the sobbing girl
in the mirror she was beautiful,
and she laughed back at me.
but today I got out of bed,
so that's a start,
right?