Lately I’ve been stuck with my thoughts
Which is rare for someone who’s always running out of ink from the many journal entries she has
And with everything going on I would think I would’ve at least written something
But I cant
Nothing comes out and I’m not even sure this counts
Its like my head is going to explode with all the things occurring and no exit for those thoughts to be released
It feels a bit too much
Everything is too much
I’ve had my good days and bad days
But man does it just feel like these days I’m surprised I don’t go crazy and do something stupid
I’m holding it all in
Acting like its all okay when I’m around my friends and family
Its not okay
Nothing is okay
And I’m one who’s a five minutes from now I’ll be okay type person
But I don’t see that happening
I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel
And I’ve gotten in some pretty deep tunnels
I just feel defeated with myself and the universe and whatever other greater force you choose to believe in
It all feels pretend
If I laugh or smile it feels forced or not even natural
I never thought I would be one of those kids
When did things get like this