Midnight blue stars descend on me tonight.
Clear intentions and dusty attitude I'm in love with the lines of my skin
Hesitant and bold,
I only wanted to own you.
I only wanted to be the ice in your drink.
New years afterthought of the rush of our voices together
The need to be more than just the girl next door
I wanted you, Bruising Smile, to keep in my bedroom for the nights when the stars don't fall
For the nights when my head is too heavy to hold
So I wanted you, Troubled Tongue, to hold in the center of my knowing
To know that I would be all you had to hold
To hold. And to be held.
And like the song says "I've written pages upon pages trying to rid you from my bones,"
And here's the proof: hundreds of pieces of poetry or pages from my journal all pointing back to you
And you haven't left me yet
But, the blush stays while my family bottles new wine on winter's eve
And don't you know you were all I wanted to believe could resonate within my tired form?
Scent like your mother's: safe and warm in your car.
I needed you to be the one but the longing went to far
The girl with the Tangled Teeth just wanted to believe you were hers.
Just wanted to believe you were mine.
It isn't easy wanting after a memory.

I loved you and I lost.