Time has a very peculiar way of bending when our eyes meet.
I'm unsure why
but it always has;
regardless of our status.
The chatter and noise of public places
all seems to quiet down to an unsure hush
with the acknowledgment of your presence.
Stumbling awkwardly on the line between what is acceptable to say as an ex-girlfriend and ex-friend leaves me speechless
I don't know what else to say other than to wish you well on your journey.
If I could go back to a time we were far more careful with one another, I would for nostalgia's sake.
I think we could agree you wouldn't do the same.
The past is the past and has separated us for a reason
but we were once Pangea, as you used to put it.
Even with the acceptance of you no longer being my partner,
I had hoped we would remain cordial.
Your bitterness is disguised as indifference
and I'd forgotten how vast your capacity for irrationality was.
I know I sound angry,
but I promise I'm not.
I'm content in knowing my pride does not outweigh my desire to be happy anymore.
Truly, I thought you to be god-like.
The first time I heard you speak
I pretended I wasn't listening as I wrote;
you were reading a riddle to our creative writing teacher that you'd written as an assignment for another class.
I remember being impressed by the way you crafted your sentences, the way you'd sewn your words together like a fine quilt.
I was entranced, naïve, and sixteen-years-old.
You were beautiful, troubled, and fast.
When I was merely nineteen,
I was afraid of how charismatic and dishonest you were.
My insecurities were amplified by your lack of reassurance which caused us to grow further apart,
blame one another for wallowing,
and eventually, storm off.
In doing so,
we lost sight of what initially brought us together as friends in high school.
If I would have known that our friendship would deteriorate to this,
I would have never invited you over to help me decorate my bedroom.
I would have never allowed you to sleep beside me in bed.
I would have never kissed you back...
In blindly following my foolish heart, I lost one of the greatest bonds I'd ever known without even realizing it.
but in retrospect, I'm glad I was there.
I'd give anything for us to be able to talk as friends once more, as far-fetched as that seems.
Maybe I'm an idiot for wanting to repair a lost friendship,
maybe I'm still as naïve as I was then.
but in my wildest dreams, I never would have imagined we would one day hold animosity toward one another.
To put it plainly,
this ***** a whole lot,
but such is life.
There is so much I wish I could tell you
you can't hear me anymore.