I do not know what to feel.
Should I be happy? Sad? Angry? Betrayed? Relieved?
I don't know.
But I know I'm hurt
And yet, I'm okay.
I really am.
I feel hurt but in a sense that I knew it all along and I denied it.
I feel okay because now, I at least know that I don't have to continue on suffering and keeping myself in denial.
I feel fine, numb and sad the exact same time.
I don't feel sane and yet I am as calm as an untouched sea.
But I feel so chaotic and broken and at the same time I feel fixed and calmed down.
I am a mess that somehow was flattened down and was taken care of.
I feel anger and jealousy within me, but at the same time I don't.
I feel fine but I have the urge to cry.
I want to be able to say I'm hurt but I just can't.
But I am and at the same time I'm not.
I want to feel something
Just one thing.
Not everything.
I don't know what to feel...