I'm spending my last hour as a fifteen year old,
with a cold metal flask in my hand,
and a burning sensation in my throat.
never did I ever picture my life like this;
I pictured myself surrounded by friends at my sweet sixteen,
I pictured myself in a relationship with the most popular guy in school,
I pictured myself happy.
but here I am,
dealing with more **** than most people will have to go through their entire life.
it's like I'm continuously getting smacked in the face,
blindsided by a new problem every week.
first it was my parents divorce.
then it was our financial situation.
next I lost the love of my life,
my sunshine, my happiness,
my best ******* friend.
and the worst part is that I don't know why.
it's like she just decided she didn't want me in her life and I didn't get a say in it.
but today came as a real shock.
coming home to a hysterical brother,
surrounded by razors saying,
"I can't do it. I just can't do it anymore."
it's like at once everything in my life just decided to crumble apart and with everything that's going on, all I can think is,
"I can't do it. I just can't do it anymore."
so happy ******* birthday to me.
maybe this year I'll finally catch a break,
but at the rate things are going right now,
I don't see that happening anytime soon.