but it sure as hell isn't this silence, it is
not this gnawing sense of self-doubt
that seems to take over everything i do
for you, for me, for us.

i wish you would just talk to me.
explain why you just walked out
as if nothing happened, as if you
didn't care about the wrongness

and the seven thousand thoughts
in my head. i feel like screaming
a hundred times a day and you
can't even bother to call me.

you are not the only one
who's scared all the time.
i'm constantly shaking
and i am always alone.

i'm done being alone.
i need you but i also
need to know that
i can love myself.