I can't help but hate my actions
There I stood, heart open and filling it with everything you did
When I saw you
My heart seized with joy
When you spoke my name or said Hi
...
I would almost die from loss of breath.
My best friend was better friends and when you guys laughed!!!
My heart would commence with the Trichotillomania...
No
the best friend left and the chance was mine!
But take it I didn't.
WHY!!
At the moment to jump you SANK
At the moment to fly you FELL
You choked
Gurgling on the fear of rejection.
And now the cycles started again. And this time
the one he laughs with isn't a friend!
Why couldn't you make him bust a gut God WHY!
He's no longer yours
never was but
but whatever!
Anger directed at him, you ignore cause you can't handle your feelings and in the end

all you ever wanted to do was to love him.
And be loved back.
.
but don't forget
.
.
.
.
.
*you did this