Lately, I've been better shutting off the alarm clock come 6 AM than I have been shutting off my wretched mind. I'm 19, but soon enough the bags under my eyes will give my young skin another 10 years.  My mind is aging faster than it should and I don't have wrinkles yet, but if my mind doesn't stop folding and unfolding all my flaws, well, I'm sure that will take it's toll too.  I can't focus on anything aside from trying not to focus on the only clear thoughts my brain spits out... It's been cold for weeks. My face is always blotchy, but I can't tell if it's from the change in weather or constant changes in emotions.  I couldn't tell you what I've had to eat the past few days, or if I've even ate at all.  It's just like my mind to play tricks on me.  In fact, I know my head is trying to **** me.  I'm never reminded when to eat... and if I am? Well, what goes down must come up.  Food always looks best the second time around.  I never sleep, my mind is a constant turntable stuck on repeat.  The vinyl consists of all my flaws... All that I am not, or where on my body I am too much.   I'm always driving through the country, on that empty road, where nobody could tell my story.  All I can see is that big ditch to the left, or that big oak tree my little car would look so pretty twisted around... Oh, is that an animal I'm about to hit? Is that animal really there? Or is that my mind playing an evil trick on me, so I can feel better about swerving off the road? I don't care. I don't care.