Pass the potatoes, the stuffing and sauce
If you don't do it soon I'll  reach right across

You've been cooking for days and I still haven't eaten
I tried that one time but you gave me a beaten

Wooden spoons hurt, by the way, you should know
There's a black and blue mark that shows every blow

Carve up the turkey while drinking the wine
Wait there's two turkeys, I've been drinking since 9

There are rolls in the oven, I think I smell smoke
Now there's a fire, I'm starting to choke

Open the windows, open the doors
Turn on the fans and out the smoke pours

You'll tell this story every year, I would bet
Somehow when I'm stupid, you never forget

But I guess its OK, it makes everyone chuckle
Like when Grandpa is full and he loosens his buckle

Let's not forget why we're having this meal
All the love in the room, and how happy we feel

So much love in this room with plenty to share
May it reach out and spread, to all, everywhere

Amen!