"Pray to God. Everything will be all right."
"He'll heal you. I promise."
"Believe in Him and everything will be all right."

I gave up on my belief in God when I was in eighth grade.
I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety.
My family abandoned me.
My grandmother hated me.
My friends thought I was crazy.
And my arms just kept bleeding.

"Pray."
"Believe."
"God is merciful."
"Ask and you shall receive."

And I did.
I did ask.
I asked,
And asked,
And asked.
But nothing ever happened.

I have horrified my grandparents,
My aunts,
My uncles,
My cousins.
I don't believe.
And they think I'm going to go to Hell for that.

Too late, I think.
I am in Hell.

The depression tears away at my insides,
Leaving me a lifeless,
Empty
Husk.
It scars my arms with its sharp fingernails,
And drives my friends and family away from me.

"Oh, just pray to God;
He'll heal you."

I don't believe in God.
There is no God.
There is only a fanciful imagination.
Humans are so desperate to have something to believe in,
Something that is bigger than themselves.
So they created "God",
An all-mighty being
Who punishes the Wicked
And rewards the Good.
And so they have something.
And they create rules to live by,
So they become the Good
When in reality
They are the Wicked.

There is no God.

They say He is merciful.
They say He is kind.
They say He loves all humans equally.

That's a lie.

If there is such a thing as "God",
He sure doesn't like me.

He has given me a life
That is pure torture.
He has punished me for something I never did.
He has created the ultimate prison
For someone who used to follow him so devoutly.

And what about the others?

They say God gives no trial
That His followers can't handle.
So what about those that commit suicide,
Because they couldn't handle it.
Because they couldn't take it anymore.
Because it was too much?

But God is good to the rich.
He showers them with more riches
And more happiness
And more joy.
He gives them everything they could ever want.

Only the happy
And well-off
And rich
Believe in God.

If there is such a thing as God,
He is the God of the Rich.
He is the God of the Fortunate.

He is not the God of the Unhappy.
He is not the God of the Poor.
He isn't my God.