I can never be the first one to say "I love you" -
She's told me so a million times,
Even when the only kissing we did
Was in my dreams:
"Do this for me, I'll love you forever"
"That was so funny; I love you, Jo"
It means such a different thing now
That I can feel her bare skin on mine
And not wake up in the morning
To find out that it was all a dream;
Now that I can kiss her lips on the streets
And whisper her gracious name.

I cannot tell her I love her because
I am afraid that she'll say it back -
I know she does not love me yet,
Not the way that I love her, with all I have,
So if she said those words again
I would know she could never see
The kind of love I have for her -
We'd mean "I love you" differently.

I cannot let that happen to us
Because it would mean the end -
That what we have will never mean to her
What I have wished for it to mean since we met.
So I keep my mouth shut when it wants
To scream her name from rooftops in Berlin
I keep my mouth shut when it wants
To tell her she's my favourite sin.

I can never be the first one to say "I love you" -
I need to hear her say it differently first.

- js