I love pretending
like I can breathe in this
cloud of insecurity.

It's just wonderful watching
the people I'm talking to
walk off
without even saying goodbye.

Of course I enjoy
listening to my mother cry
and trying to offer up what I can
on a silver platter that
never seems
shiny enough.

No, I'm not anxious at all
sitting alone in the quiet
waiting for the phone to ring
or a text to pop up
saying "pack a bag."

My life is all sunshine,
rainbows,
puppies,
loud music,
sleepless nights
waiting by the phone
in case that emergency
I've been dreading
finally appears.