looking out the window of a plane,
I wondered if I had ever seen
stars this close before and
somehow let myself forget-
not understanding the beauty
to be found
in a vulnerable sky.

I had done that a lot growing up-
forgotten.
I let memories dissipate in anticipation
of better ones, not knowing, or maybe refusing
to believe, that the best memories were quiet
and garnished with love.

I wondered
why I hadn’t appreciated more as a child,
why I didn’t gulp down life like I would
a lemonade on a sweltering day.

I took many things for granted then.
I didn’t look at trees
with awe,
driving down dark roads,
listening to the hum of wheels
against pavement,
but with heavy eyelids.

what I would do
to go back
to those evening car rides
and keep my eyes wide open.