what hurts more?
knowing that you lost two best friends

or that the war between you all is never ending...

what hurts more?
the feeling of being alone

or the fact that you have been alone for so long you have become used to it...

I used to have suidical thoughts
DAILY

Can you imagine?
Waking up,
and wishing you hadn't.

Does no one feel like I do?
Am I a person filled with more emotions than others,
is this some disease?

Is this why I suffer from heart palpatations when I get anxiety?

will my anxiety **** me one day?

I am not sure.

I have felt great pain in my chest before,
and I have been to the emergency room,
because I was too afraid of my own hands,
and my wrists felt weak.

They used to yell at me to slice them..
I thought I deserved to die.
I wished I had died when I was hit by a drunk driver for a long time.

She took my car, I lost my job,
when I just wished it could have taken my life.

It isn't so dark now,
I wake up in the morning smiling.

If it wasn't for my friends I know I wouldn't be alive today.

They may never know how much they mean to me,
but they are my heart,
and the only reason I still try to love every day.

I can't live for me,
I couldn't live for him,
so I live for them.

Every day I get a step closer to who I want to be,
and it's all thanks to my friends.

I love you all so so much,
thank you.