I'm  getting there. I'm getting to my happy place again. You're still always on my mind, but it's beginning to hurt less. It doesn't feel like there's a gaping hole in me, my chest, my life. It doesn't feel as bad as it used to you anymore when someone brings you up, when something reminds me of you or when I have to go to sleep without you by my side. Life is beginning to go back to the way it was before you ****** around with it .  It's finally as if you were always a distant memory. Soon you'll fade completely. I won't be constantly wagering the "what if's" and "whys" for they will no longer matter. I will simply be focused on the present, for it is a gift I have yet to open .