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Jul 2015
There was a time in my life
That I had you
You weren't with me
And I lay in bed
My hair wet from tears on both sides

Depression plagued me
And held a weight on my chest
That cemented me to my mattress

I didn't know I was sick
I thought you were to blame
And that wasn't fair

But despite that
Despite the fact I thought you were the reason for my sadness
I still told myself that I would never leave you
I told myself that I loved you too much to ever hurt you or make you sad
I promised myself that I was going to stay with you until you died
And it was worth me having a miserable life
So you could be happy
I was going so crazy I thought about killing myself
But I knew that it would **** you


I WAS GOING SO BAT **** CRAZY
I MOMENTARILY CONTEMPLATED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF I KILLED YOU
AND KILLED MYSELF
SO WE COULD BE RID OF THIS PAIN
AND IF THERE WAS A GOD
YOU WOULD STILL GO TO HEAVEN

So don't EVEN
FOR A ******* SECOND
TELL ME
THAT I DIDNT REALLY LOVE YOU
BECAUSE I WAS WILLING TO GIVE UP
EVERYTHING
GIVE IT ALL UP
GIVE UP MY HAPPINESS
MY SANITY
MY LIFE AND ITS WORTH
FOR YOU AND YOUR HAPPINESS
THATS WHY I KNOW IT WAS LOVE
IT IS LOVE
Because all the other boys I "had"
All the other boys I "loved"
I let go
For me
And I still haven't let you go
For me
But I try to leave you alone
For you


I've been seeing you in my dreams lately
Last night I was covered in burns and you still brought me home
And we made love

I knew it was a dream
But at a very strange point
I said **** it
And gave you the most loving hug
Like I used to
With my arms cradling your head
And my legs wrapped around your ribs

It felt real
I could feel the warmth of your skin
I could SMELL you for christ's sake
Does that mean you were there??
Is love actually this spiritual??
Do you dream of me too??
Or do I remember your scent and feel so well, that I tap into the deep deep parts of my subconscious and I can relive
Such vivid memories
That its like you're actually there

I love you
I love you every day
I will love you tomorrow
And I will love you until my last breath

I will be who I want to be one day
And that day I will come for you
And tell you I'm ready
**** dude I really hope you'll take me then
I wish even more I was ready now..
I AM SO ANGRY WITH YOU
WHO ARE YOU TURNING INTO HOW CAN YOU BE SO SINISTER
Red
Written by
Red  WI
(WI)   
674
 
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