Why am I smiling?
I cut myself on my thigh
I saw the blood rush out and I knew I’d done a terrible thing
So why did I smile?

I dropped to my knees and forced ******* down my throat
I saw this morning’s breakfast come up and land in the toilet bowl
I knew I was damaging my body for good
So why did I smile?

I didn’t eat for two days time
My body ached and my mind ran amok
I knew there would only be more pain
So why did I smile?

I damaged myself
I hurt myself in ways beyond repair
I felt the pain I thought I deserved
Why does this make me smile?