You know, for years I wanted nothing but to be your little girl. I mean, I guess I am. But in some ways, you didn't let me. When I was really small, before life started to really take its toll on you, we did a lot together. I'd sit on your lap and watch you play video games, we'd watch movies together mommy said I shouldn't watch but we did it anyway, and I would crawl in your bed every time I was scared and you would make me feel all better.

So what happened?

Now you don't even look at me when I watch you play your games, and you fall asleep or leave before a movie is even over. And worst of all, sometimes now you're the thing I'm most afraid of.

I fought for years to be just like you. I read your books, watched your movies, played your games, all in a desperate attempt to get you to notice me. Funny thing now is that I'm extremely terrified of you seeing who I am. You'd hate me. You of course would promise you wouldn't, and in some capacity you're not lying. You will never stop loving your little girl, your first baby. But who I am now?

You wouldn't love her.

She believes in emotions, and equality, and being open-minded, and being *****, and falling in love, and loving what you do, and knowing when things aren't right for me. I know its so much harder for you, jaded by the life you have been given. I realize having  **** up writer for a daughter, an introvert for a wife, and a lost little boy for a son aren't easy. Not to mention your pressure at work and how you never say no and you always get ****** over by your coworkers, I get it.

But will you ever look at me and comfort me instead of telling me all I believe in, all I am is *******? Will you ever ask me what's wrong instead why I'm crying when I have nothing worthy of crying? Will you ever love me the way you used to?

I don't think so, and that kills me.

I love you so much, but I will be honest I don't love who you are that much anymore either. We have no understanding of each other, and I think at this point we might be too different to ever go back.

I miss you so much sometimes it rips me in two. My childhood was painful enough and I feel like I'm losing all of it. I'm losing you, and I don't know how and if I can fix that.

So much of me is based off you. I wanted to be you. And now I'm terrified of that happening, though my condition is a pretty good fail safe to prevent it.

I love you. I always will love you. But its time to accept I'm not Daddy's Girl anymore. I don't think I ever will be again.