i don't need anyone or anything
i'm a self-sustaining music machine
infinite energy, wax and wane
some times i feel vain
while i contemplate pain and imagine security
in the arms of another, spurious and distant
i hold my stance and raise my arms

a pitiable defense against the rigours of a lonely life
but they're all i've got and so i take a stab
because the only constant in strife is that nothing short of ****** will stop me
and even though i may feel blue, it's only cos i wanted company
i feel at odds with the inner me
and ashamed that i have to explain myself
and apologize for the tremor i felt

my hands shake with the weight of a thousand cuts, hidden
beneath a thick veneer of smiles and "how are you?"s
she was the only one to reach through and hold the trembling nucleus
to say "it's okay, I know that you can do this"
but i worry her and i can only think about how much i worry them
i some times worry myself, now i think again

but this is the way i am built and i will make it all the same
life is a series of moments and kindly strangers met on a late-night train

i want to be like you. it's easier to like myself now.
but it breaks my heart that i can't explain it properly, anyhow.

nick