Jun 2015
Dear ——,
There are a few things I wanted to mention. Don’t worry, this wont be long and depressing I promise. I just wanted you to know that I’ve learned a lot for my time on this planet. For some reason I feel like I’ve lived thousands of lives already, and gradually picked up on some things in my time. This is what I want to mention to you. I’m not sure if it’s the secret of our unfathomable lives, or just a bunch of cliche words tied together to make you feel something. But I’m still going to mention it.
I was in pretty bad place before, and I’m most likely still in a bad place but thats okay because I was there and I felt everything and everyone. Even if I hated them, I knew they came into my life for a reason. You see, I believe everything happens for a reason. And **** those people who say everything doesn't matter because it does. And it does because you’re there and they're there, and you are all there together and it all ******* matters because you matter. Don’t ever believe all of this doesn't matter. Because if you do, I’ll start to feel bad for you, and nobody likes being pitied.
I’ve also done many bad things. To myself and mostly other people. I’ve had a hard time in this life, but I think it was worth it. I think all the pain, the stress, the dissociation, the mental issues, the loneliness- it was all worth it for this moment I’m in right now.
Because in this moment, I’m in the comfiest red truck. I am covered in the warmest blanket. My favorite song in the whole universe is on a low hum. The sky is a bright orange descending into a faded twilight. The stars are so bright, and I don't even care if they are most likely dead, they are still hopeful. The mountains make me feel like I belong somewhere. The sun’s orange light is illuminating you, and I swear to god you look like an angel. And you love me with every bone in your body, and I love you with every atom in mine, and thats okay.
I guess what I’m saying is that, don’t be afraid of death. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Learn to love it. Learn to love what you hate. Learn to love who you hate. Learn to give yourself to everything and everyone even if its dangerous. Learn to love goodbye’s. Learn to love Mondays. Learn to love the bad days. Learn to love every bad thing in the world. Learn that everything no matter how ugly it is, is so beautiful. And truly beautiful things never die.
So, this is goodbye. This is my last letter to you. These are my final words. They're not great, but thats okay. I just want you to know that right now I’m staring at you, and you are so ******* beautiful. I never thought I would love someone so much, but there you are, breathing everything in. You’ll be fine, I swear to you. And who knows? Maybe, I’ll see you my next life, because whoever’s up there knows I’ll look for you. I always do.
love,
——
There are a few things I wanted to mention. Don’t worry, this wont be long and depressing I promise. I just wanted you to know that I’ve learned a lot for my time on this planet. For some reason I feel like I’ve lived thousands of lives already, and gradually picked up on some things in my time. This is what I want to mention to you. I’m not sure if it’s the secret of our unfathomable lives, or just a bunch of cliche words tied together to make you feel something. But I’m still going to mention it.
I was in pretty bad place before, and I’m most likely still in a bad place but thats okay because I was there and I felt everything and everyone. Even if I hated them, I knew they came into my life for a reason. You see, I believe everything happens for a reason. And **** those people who say everything doesn't matter because it does. And it does because you’re there and they're there, and you are all there together and it all ******* matters because you matter. Don’t ever believe all of this doesn't matter. Because if you do, I’ll start to feel bad for you, and nobody likes being pitied.
I’ve also done many bad things. To myself and mostly other people. I’ve had a hard time in this life, but I think it was worth it. I think all the pain, the stress, the dissociation, the mental issues, the loneliness- it was all worth it for this moment I’m in right now.
Because in this moment, I’m in the comfiest red truck. I am covered in the warmest blanket. My favorite song in the whole universe is on a low hum. The sky is a bright orange descending into a faded twilight. The stars are so bright, and I don't even care if they are most likely dead, they are still hopeful. The mountains make me feel like I belong somewhere. The sun’s orange light is illuminating you, and I swear to god you look like an angel. And you love me with every bone in your body, and I love you with every atom in mine, and thats okay.
I guess what I’m saying is that, don’t be afraid of death. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Learn to love it. Learn to love what you hate. Learn to love who you hate. Learn to give yourself to everything and everyone even if its dangerous. Learn to love goodbye’s. Learn to love Mondays. Learn to love the bad days. Learn to love every bad thing in the world. Learn that everything no matter how ugly it is, is so beautiful. And truly beautiful things never die.
So, this is goodbye. This is my last letter to you. These are my final words. They're not great, but thats okay. I just want you to know that right now I’m staring at you, and you are so ******* beautiful. I never thought I would love someone so much, but there you are, breathing everything in. You’ll be fine, I swear to you. And who knows? Maybe, I’ll see you my next life, because whoever’s up there knows I’ll look for you. I always do.
love,
——
