I...I love him... He doesn't love me. I am a pawn, in this chess game of love and  he is the player, he decides my fate,  he chooses what I do. He can make me skip school, have *** with him, and if he leaves me and never talks to me...I wouldn't want to take a shower because i would be afraid his scent would wash away from me, I'd stay up all night thinking and remembering the way he would breath, how he would laugh and his smile. I would crave his touch and I wouldn't go to school. He controls me. And I don't know if I want to be controlled. I'm so terrified that tomorrow he will choose that he no longer needs me and I'm terrified he will leave me.