I think I have finally come to accept that my home is
on the fence.
I am constantly fighting with myself of my worth and intentions.
A forever debate if I am worthy of the good or deserve all the bad.
I want so deeply to love someone,
and their love to be pure in return.
Yet do I deserve to accept their love?

I want so badly
to be a kind, genuine and patient person,
yet when I am,
I get used.
Then when I voice my thoughts,
I get abused.

I am nervous for the day
that a big gust of wind comes along and blows me and my home
off the fence.
But which side will I fall?

I'm scared.