With clean underwear
And a clean pair of shorts
My friends are all wondering
What's the big fuss
I even took out a razor
And let it have it's way
I figured sooner or later
So why not today

As I went about the groom
I put deodorant on
By the name of Right Guard
So I left the left arm alone
You might be wondering
Why I think this way
Been doing it most of my life
So why not today

I even splashed on cologne
So I'd have it going on
Splashed it both sides
As the name didn't denote
This all gives me the feeling
Of being Hollywood made
Which has never happened before
So why not today

Being ready, I stepped out
On the sunny side of the street
I've always heard
That's where the bright people meet
As I gave it my best
Hand shakes and waves
Maybe start a new craze
"Why not today"