May 2015
fear and faith cannot occupy the same space.
i’m scared.
scared that you’ll hurt me, that you’ll only love the good things about me and not the things that are sometimes hard to love.
i’m scared ill say something out of line and it will be enough for you to walk away because you never really realized how special i was in the first place.
i’m scared that you just want me for ***, and want to use my body. i’m scared that you only like me because i’m pretty, and that those days where i get ugly you’ll run the other way.
i’m scared you won’t accept my baggage onto your airplane, i’m scared it won’t fit that it will exceed the weight limit, because the truth is my heart is as heavy as it is pure.
even though i’ve felt rejected 100 times, i’m scared that i won’t make it to 101. that it will destroy me, like it has before. i know i can’t let someone 100% in and make them my entire world because life never works out like that. and life doesn’t work from attachment because everything is temporary.
i can tell myself 1,000 times how good enough i am. because somewhere i do believe its true. i know how strong and brave i’ve been and how many times i’ve been stepped on and had the courage to get up one more and i know that i’ll do it.
i can’t let fear consume me.
i’ve been to hell and back and i know that little dark hole and what it’s like to want someone to pull you out.
but i pulled myself out.
i lived and i experienced and now i want to love. i want a love like reckless abandon because the truth is my heart is deeper than the earth’s core and the things that i can love and the things that i can love about someone are limitless. i’m a writer and a poet and a beautiful soul and i will not let you, Fear, I will NOT let you consume me. You’ve stopped me from fighting for what I love and standing up for myself. But Faith and Courage have helped me fight you. Faith and Courage have helped me get past your iron clad ties around my hands and especially my heart. I will not let you win, because this is my battle. And although I’ve been left, lied to, disappointed, walked on, spit on, thrown down, punched, kicked, and defeated 1,000 times, it only takes 1 time for Faith to erase all of that pain. Faith > Fear.
i’m scared.
scared that you’ll hurt me, that you’ll only love the good things about me and not the things that are sometimes hard to love.
i’m scared ill say something out of line and it will be enough for you to walk away because you never really realized how special i was in the first place.
i’m scared that you just want me for ***, and want to use my body. i’m scared that you only like me because i’m pretty, and that those days where i get ugly you’ll run the other way.
i’m scared you won’t accept my baggage onto your airplane, i’m scared it won’t fit that it will exceed the weight limit, because the truth is my heart is as heavy as it is pure.
even though i’ve felt rejected 100 times, i’m scared that i won’t make it to 101. that it will destroy me, like it has before. i know i can’t let someone 100% in and make them my entire world because life never works out like that. and life doesn’t work from attachment because everything is temporary.
i can tell myself 1,000 times how good enough i am. because somewhere i do believe its true. i know how strong and brave i’ve been and how many times i’ve been stepped on and had the courage to get up one more and i know that i’ll do it.
i can’t let fear consume me.
i’ve been to hell and back and i know that little dark hole and what it’s like to want someone to pull you out.
but i pulled myself out.
i lived and i experienced and now i want to love. i want a love like reckless abandon because the truth is my heart is deeper than the earth’s core and the things that i can love and the things that i can love about someone are limitless. i’m a writer and a poet and a beautiful soul and i will not let you, Fear, I will NOT let you consume me. You’ve stopped me from fighting for what I love and standing up for myself. But Faith and Courage have helped me fight you. Faith and Courage have helped me get past your iron clad ties around my hands and especially my heart. I will not let you win, because this is my battle. And although I’ve been left, lied to, disappointed, walked on, spit on, thrown down, punched, kicked, and defeated 1,000 times, it only takes 1 time for Faith to erase all of that pain. Faith > Fear.
Something to read when you're feeling a little scared about the future
