it's me.
the real me.
leaving without evidence.
leaving as if nothing happened.
It's me.
don't worry.
in a situation like this, I have to put on something useful.
to ease the pain.
to forget my mistakes.
wearing it again.
it feels nostalgic.
the mask.
very useful.
pretending.
show the fake until everything is normal again.
.
.
.
painful.
deep inside my heart is beating painfully.
i can't expect anything anyway.
It's not something I have to fight.
I'm just expecting....
expecting too much.
And it hurts. it hurts so much that I feel numb.
same pain for the last years - the pain of leaving.
no, maybe the pain of being unloved, insecure, ignored and.....
Maybe i love him so much that leaving is the hardest thing to do now.
If I will not do the right thing, I'll just feel this pain over and over again.
or let this mistake become right??

what to do? what to do?