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Apr 2015
XLI
I see you have someone else now
You are so used to leaving, and finding the first person eager to be there
Now you're resting your head on another soulmate
Thinking, begging that this particular one stays

I have always seen worth along with time and sincerity
Seeing a new face makes me question again and as always
Have you told yet

Have you told why you’re afraid
Of blood – because the first time your dad laid hands on you, he never thought twice about hurting you, and how this scarred you
Of heights – because falling meant breaking, and you were not brought up to be one of the fallen
Of roller coasters – because the first time you rode one, you felt nauseated with the fast changes in pace, and no one was there to hold your hand
Of butterflies – because killing the caterpillars was a childhood favorite, and letting them live meant having something to let go of
Of the dark – because it is where home is, where no one dared peek, no one dared experience, and letting someone in would give them power to destroy the walls
Of tight spaces – because one night you were suffocated by your own pillow while you were sleeping, and trust never came knocking ever again
Of clocks – because time was always an enemy, you were never good at timing, sometimes too soon, most of the time you were too late
Of testing the waters – because you have gotten used to drowning that experiencing it will only allow yourself to feel, and that’s something you don’t have the luxury to do
Of love letters – because the first ones you got were cards bought, leaving you thinking you were never meant for the handwritten love notes
Of words – because you’re good at them and you know how words can manipulate souls into believing of all the good things while leaving out the bad ones


**You’re crying. I guess you haven’t, have you?
This is part of a very long poem. I decided to split it into three. IDK why really.

And also, this poem is about myself, okay. So, ikaw, get over yourself, this isn't about you, *******.

2:41 PM, April 4, 2015
Shiennina Marae
Written by
Shiennina Marae
  678
     morning glory, EJ Aghassi, Unknown101 and ---
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