Its every morning
Every evening every night
She forces herself to stand by
Her own mind
She would fight battles and allow the wounds to control her
She was just, honest and full of love
Except she couldn't show it enough
She was chained
From her ankles to her brain
And she would refrain
From ever asking for help
Because she was afraid
Afraid that someone would deny that she is struggling
That someone would hold her and throw her against the room and say
"You are nothing but a narcissist, get out of my way"
She would refrain
Refrain from pulling her words to real life
And creating something that would mock minds
She was afraid to be her
She would throw the prayer mat and begin
To whisper to God how she
Wished he would forgive
Those who have sinned
And help those who will continue to sin
She always hated how she couldn't ask for forgiveness
She felt like she never deserved it
As if she knew she was destined to be away from heaven
She would hear her friends complain about their haters
And envy it because at least they hadn't hated themselves as much as she did
She would read and read and read
On "how to love yourself "
Than recognize how cheesy the steps were
She would sit down and observe the smiles and the supports
The bliss moments everybody was receiving
She envied it for much reasons
Because she could never be how they seemed
She was envious of those who found happiness
Of those who could look in the mirror and find minor flaws but appreciate them
Of those who would do good and look up to God out of sincerity
Hoping the good deed would be full of purity
She envied thy souls
The ones who would grow to be good righteous and compassionate about themselves
She envied how they wouldn't refrain from self-love
She had given up years ago
But a little voice
As small as every molecule in this room
Said to her
' you are boundless from success and love '
You are insincere to yourself
You block the sincere acts that would satisfy u
Because the sincerity in loving yourself lacks
Which makes the love for God be questioned
So much perceptions
And on going denials
You'll be held on the last day like a trial
And have to deal with the mistake
The mistake of being insincere to yourself
The honesty of self-love is missing
Like the sincerity in your actions
And the repenting  
The fake smiling and condescending
The on going bragging and contradicting
Whether you're doing good or not
You're misleading yourself to  believe you're sincere,
But really you fear the wrath you'll be put in
Like where you currently see Putin
oh, that voice so small but so broad
  Making her wanna change everything wrong
Girl you're delusional
Your face is unusual
And your heart is condescending thy unusual
So stop degrading yourself
As if you're responsible for all the trauma being dealt
Like you're the reason why thousands of people were killed
Like you're the reason why your sister has to deal with anxiety attacks once in a while
Enough with the self blame
You take faults in things you weren't able to tame
Your eyes flame with tears and all the lies stream down your face
All the "I'm fine I'm  just a bit tired", come down in slow pace
You explode a fearless reaction to self hate
Begin to take your seat and meditate  
I don't mean the actual meditation
I mean prayer
Because baby girl now you are a fearless self loving warrior