I don't know what I'm feeling anymore.

He loves me,
     so why can't I let myself love him too?
     What's holding me back?
And he says he loves me too,
     so why am I so wary of his love, and often
     left feeling unfulfilled and deserted?
I don't love me right now,
     and when I look in the mirror
     I don't recognize this person
     in front of me anymore.

My nights are filled with
     stolen kisses and
     drunken ***,
     yet I'm always left alone
     at the end of it.
And it's then, when I'm
     lonely and tearful
     that I question everything,
     most of all
                           myself.