and i swear to god that it's nothing really
just a little thought
niggling in the back of my mind
i really ought not to pay attention to it
to let the seed die before it blossoms
rapidly and uncontrollably
bringing undescribable pain and joy
trepidation and sunshine mixed together
in a steel *** simmering over a smouldering fire
but the smallest thing brings out
huge reactions that are uncalled for and in the end i'm still too afraid and too unsure
about everything to address the issue

and so, i swear to god, that it's nothing really
even though my heart breaks a little bit everyday
even as pink touches my cheeks and refuses to leave
even as everything churns in my brain in wild circles

it's nothing, really