If only to lose,
All of what came before,
If only to remove,
All that poisons my every thought,
If only to prove,
Events not my mind were the cause,
If only to refuse,
To accept another closed door,
If only to choose,
To take my life back from the jaws,
Of self-pity.

If only such a gas as led Vaudevue to take her life,
Could be found for me,
My own M L 5,
To destroy my history.