these things are true:

       my existence is a winding path consisting of
       first and second degree mistakes, accomplishments, sorrow, fulfillment
       and unexpected events that i have the power to determine to be        
       devastating or miraculous

        everything i experience is temporary

        the feeling of emptiness that physically consumes me
        is included in that category, and at some point i will stop bearing it

however, i never want to hear anyone’s heartbeat against my palm ever again

i never want to appreciate the life of another person because their demise is inevitable,
and if anyone tries to set off fireworks on the fourth of july i will move to sweden

i can’t ever have anyone depend on me to stay through everything,
and i never want to hear another taylor swift song because she’s a terrible musician

i never want anyone else to understand what i’m trying to say
even when i’ve left my sentence unfinished,
and i will impale the next person who tries to hold my hand

i am filled with your absence, overflowing with emptiness
so i will wait until i don’t want to understand anymore
i will wait for everything to become interesting again, for everything to hurt less