I accidentally let it happen
I didn't mean to I swear
All I can is say sorry
Sorry
Sorry
Sorry
And yet the actions I took were pre meditated
And I don't know who I'm saying sorry to
Myself?
But didn't I do it to myself?
But didn't I mean for it to happen
And yet now it has and I feel worse than before
I never meant to hurt myself like that
And yet I love the pain, the pressure
I'm already thinking about doing it again
Yet I want it to stop.
Does anyone else feel this way
Is it just me?
So confused
Going this way and that
Thinking I know where I want to go
And then I go the wrong way
I want up, I go down
I want the light, I feel for the dark
I can't let it get inside me, I welcome it in as an old friend
I reach to others for help, I slap there hand away once they try
I want the darkness to fade away, but I want to fade away.
I don't know what I want. To stay, or leave.
But will I ever get the nerve to actually leave? Or is this just me being foolish.
I dont know. A haze is on my mind.
I have darker things on my mind. They scare me.
How did I get like this? How did this happen? I dont want to hurt anyone but I know I will. I dont want anyone to hate me but they do.