You looked more like a man today
Than you ever did before.
But I had to leave you, on a Thursday.

So many things I planned to say
Your eyes immediately welling with tears
Jaw so tight,
I thought of all the times we would fight
Enough is enough, I tell all my friends.

I had to change the music that escorted the scene
To something that would better match the melody
Of your welling tears, in the room.
You saved me, at a time when I needed it the most
I will remember you for that always,
I whispered amidst your: "I am so sorries"
And your: "Please just don't leave my life."
I meant what I said.

I worried you would never walk out of my apartment
Talking to me in circles, I felt responsible
But knowing.
Maybe I am a freak, maybe I am just a romantic
But you looked more like a man to me today
Than you ever did before.
But I let myself leave
And dance ******* free.

Your legs seemed longer, stronger
Your forehead more wrinkled
Scruff on your face
Where was this guy?
The look in your eyes, you knew your heart had been taken away
I had to do it.
Long Eyelashes, you said to me:
"I was filled with such hate and bitterness, before I met you. You taught me to love again."
Choking and stumbling, salivating
Smiling a smile that broke your heart,
"What a beautiful thing that is. I'm glad I could do that for you."
I meant what I said.
Wishing it was possible to dive into the nearest pool
And sink to the bottom, I darkly thought.
But I had to let myself leave.

Your mouth opened
Before you left, that you would probably drink
A lot tonight
Please do no harm.
But I know you would come after me any time
At 3am, but I'll do my best
Not to call.
Because I had to let myself leave.
I wept after you left.


Just like one big weary worn out sigh
That little table of mine
Has seen it all.
Drowning, singing to you all
When will my tail and I surrender?

I heard the door jingle and jangle
Let you exit
Wanted you to exit
Wanted the clutter to exit
Too much avocado, for me
Thank you for the extra
But I had to let myself leave
For the last time.
But always remember me
I think in some way,
I taught you the pirouettes of love.