Jan 2015
I think I've been lost since I was young
My dad used to have this homemade train room in our garage, with cubbyholes you could come up into by crawling underneath. I would sit in there for hours losing myself in this tiny world that only I had control over. I think this is where my need to have control over every factor in life developed.
I think I've been lost since I was young
When I was eight I split a bedroom with my older sister. our two single sized beds were connected at a right degree angle with a giant hallow, white box connecting them In the corner. I made this box into my sanctuary, entering through the hinged door. I set up blankets, pillows and a fan spending countless hours alone in this hot condensed place. I think this was where I started seeing suffocation as a means for survival.
I think I've been lost since I was young
I used to throw these deafening tantrum attacks when I was little, throwing myself on the floor, parading to everyone what a brat I was. My family would call them spirals because once they started it was all downhill from there and there was no way of stopping it. I would pound and beat the ground, screeching at the top of my lungs. Once I even started beating my grandma with a broom. I think this was where my unexplainable, hidden anger first began to bloom.
I think I've been lost since I was young
When my parents were still married their walk in closet was my hiding spot to listen to their arguments. Even though I didn't understand it I still liked feeling apart of it. I remember looking at their clothes, my mothers on the right, my dads on the left. Separate. I think this was where I realized it wasn't love if it didn't make you feel good.
Can you even be lost if you're not sure you even have a place to call your home anymore?
My dad used to have this homemade train room in our garage, with cubbyholes you could come up into by crawling underneath. I would sit in there for hours losing myself in this tiny world that only I had control over. I think this is where my need to have control over every factor in life developed.
I think I've been lost since I was young
When I was eight I split a bedroom with my older sister. our two single sized beds were connected at a right degree angle with a giant hallow, white box connecting them In the corner. I made this box into my sanctuary, entering through the hinged door. I set up blankets, pillows and a fan spending countless hours alone in this hot condensed place. I think this was where I started seeing suffocation as a means for survival.
I think I've been lost since I was young
I used to throw these deafening tantrum attacks when I was little, throwing myself on the floor, parading to everyone what a brat I was. My family would call them spirals because once they started it was all downhill from there and there was no way of stopping it. I would pound and beat the ground, screeching at the top of my lungs. Once I even started beating my grandma with a broom. I think this was where my unexplainable, hidden anger first began to bloom.
I think I've been lost since I was young
When my parents were still married their walk in closet was my hiding spot to listen to their arguments. Even though I didn't understand it I still liked feeling apart of it. I remember looking at their clothes, my mothers on the right, my dads on the left. Separate. I think this was where I realized it wasn't love if it didn't make you feel good.
Can you even be lost if you're not sure you even have a place to call your home anymore?
